i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
