I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
