I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
