so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
