We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
