I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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