Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'

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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.

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(765): View more from Indiana

you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it

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(517): View more from Michigan

you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?

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(319): View more from Iowa

You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there

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(406): View more from Montana

I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive

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(314): View more from Missouri

I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.

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