hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
