This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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