Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
