My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
