I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
