Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
