oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
so much tequila, so little girl.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
