Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
