You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
