I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
