Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
