Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
