I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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