I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
