i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
