Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I smell like Dick and happiness
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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