erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
