oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
