She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
