i will never coherently bang her
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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