So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
