On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
