After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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