the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
