she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Randomize
