That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
