sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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