I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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