that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
