I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
