Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I currently don't understand fingers.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
