69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
