So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Text me some of your sweat
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
