you traded sex for a burrito?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
