he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
