The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My feet surprised me
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
