Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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