Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
