I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
