Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
