U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
