We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
