Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
