i just had sex bonerless
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
As shirtless as possible
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
