Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
