She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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